Thirtieth

Take my dark
And fight with the light,
I'll be sleeping
My dreams held tight.
I hide my flaws in the deepest colours,
Fabricating those perfections
For the sake of being praised;
But I am hiding deep down,
I'm hiding the best of me;
Fearing the feeling
Of being taken for granted.
I am nothing different,
I am one among the many;
In my heart I aim for the stars,
But fear all places unlit and shady.
I have a heartbeat that defines me though,
Strong enough to bear the brunt
Of every damaging incompassionate flow.

Twenty ninth

No revenge for the hurts,
No regret for the follies,
Unload every feeling that feeds on the past.
Let the only dark thing left behind be your shadow,
Rest all life be a burning halo.
Blur the bygones, trust each of your nerve,
Gone are the days of making it better,
Await only for the best you deserve.

Twenty eighth

I'll write a song that starts with you,
Words that matter are the unspoken few;
My melodies love the beats of your heart,
And everything else that sets you apart.

Tortuous turns that life feigns,
Be the warmth when my crescendo wanes;
However difficult the symphony gets,
We'll make the music sound right always.

Twenty seventh.

     She was seeing a patient who had come for a follow up. Follow ups gave her jitters sometimes. A failure wasn't something she could manage. It feels better not to choose than to try and fail.
     She told the patient to sit straight and dangle her leg mid-air. Mid-air, the worst position for all possible affairs in life. She was going to test her for the knee jerk reflex. The patient's Gullian Barre syndrome had been almost cured, the jerk should be present there now. Autoimmune diseases seem to be so funny, she thought. It is one thing not to recognize oneself, and another thing to allow our white cells to launch an attack. Against a  supposedly foreign object. Its difficult to realise that some things don't belong to us; and even more difficult to accept all those that sure do.
     She was about to strike the hammer end on her knee. Absence of an unconditioned reflex will decide her failure. He always cringed his eyes in a certain lovely way when she tried to kiss him right between his nose and eyes. The only reason for his not trusting her will be an unconditioned reflex, like this one, she thought. She should admit the truth and be ready to give it her best. Her life won't be based upon reflexes and responses anymore. She was ready to strike the hammer. Henceforth, it was going to be more about the efforts.

Twenty sixth.

     She had found it cute, the way he covered his phone with his hand, the moment she walked in to sit besides her. She smiled. He knew she already knew. His plans for her birthday next month. Next month, till when they would have fought a thousand times more. And realised how much more she had wanted him every single time. She wondered whether he felt the same for her. He made her want to live this same life over and over again.
     The terrace cafe was giving out a great ambience. She looked up at the night sky. It was darker. On every fifteenth day the moon doesn't show up, and yet, the sun doesn't hurt itself. It is only the heart that feels forlorn. But even in its absence, the sun is aware of the moon. It always knows when its time to rise. And ensure a bright day. Mistakes can be very much relative. What matters is being ready to resolve all the issues. It always felt very much secure with him. The way the sun must now be feeling about the moon. She asked for his hand in hers.
     He was looking into her eyes. Maybe he wanted to be seeing her forever. She looked down. He wasn't hiding his phone and his birthday plans from her. But her name written on his hand. In black ink. Probably at some insane, unconscious moment. He smiled. She knew he already knew. About his daydreams that were being woven around her love. At this moment and till the end of the times.

Twenty fifth.

     The black ghost fish looks like it dons a cover over itself. She, too, for a multiple times, had wished for the same. A cover, that hid all the inner weaknesses, giving the fish its chance at hiding everything that isn't to be shown.
     It swam different than any other fishes kept in the entire aquarium, she noticed. It wriggled its way into one of the dark tunnels the corals had made. She had drifted apart. From his care and his longings that he never showed, his desires that she might have never even realised. She almost expected it to come out the next second, out of somewhere else. Even from no-where, if it needs to be. But there wasn't the slightest of movement in the water. She had lost all her attention to that one thing, the one that had once been.
     She had accepted that love wasn't the right choice always. Some compromises have to be done. He looked like he could make her feel right in every possible way. She had said yes to someone else. Even without getting her heart into his story. Without taking it off from where it seemed to be stuck, since an eternity. It did find its way out of an another coral, but she had realised the futility of chasing a phantom. Happiness has to be pursued, but only from where it can be sought. The time might not be right, but choices have to be made, to suit situations in the wake of a corrected time.
       A blue fluroscent stripe, laced upon orange, with the most promising fins, they felt alluring in this broken state of mind. She knew her decision was right, her heart would understand, sooner or later. She let the black ghost swim out of her eyesight. For ever.

Twenty fourth

Slips away the sand from where it isn't meant to be,

Buried under the dunes of time are things for no one to see.

With the days too hot and the nights too cold,

The vastness of all void lures promises untold.

The winds have been shaping it since ages long,

They have been whistling in your ears..

To keep hidden the desert's true song.