She was seeing a patient who had come for a follow up. Follow ups gave her jitters sometimes. A failure wasn't something she could manage. It feels better not to choose than to try and fail.
She told the patient to sit straight and dangle her leg mid-air. Mid-air, the worst position for all possible affairs in life. She was going to test her for the knee jerk reflex. The patient's Gullian Barre syndrome had been almost cured, the jerk should be present there now. Autoimmune diseases seem to be so funny, she thought. It is one thing not to recognize oneself, and another thing to allow our white cells to launch an attack. Against a supposedly foreign object. Its difficult to realise that some things don't belong to us; and even more difficult to accept all those that sure do.
She was about to strike the hammer end on her knee. Absence of an unconditioned reflex will decide her failure. He always cringed his eyes in a certain lovely way when she tried to kiss him right between his nose and eyes. The only reason for his not trusting her will be an unconditioned reflex, like this one, she thought. She should admit the truth and be ready to give it her best. Her life won't be based upon reflexes and responses anymore. She was ready to strike the hammer. Henceforth, it was going to be more about the efforts.
